Don’t promise… if your happy.
Don’t reply…. If you’re angry.
Don’t decide ….. if your sad.
Ever wonder if the thoughts you consider to decide
Was the truth of who you are inside?
“Oh I’d never think that”
Catch me on a bad day.
Sometimes I wonder
Does the shimmery outside peel like the skin of a fish?
Flaking in scales, shedding its glimmer
Until inside it simply holds a naked beginner
Back to the start you go-
Everything you built, you learned, is first to go.
Back to before rational, sensible, serious
To emotional, angry, uncontained spoof.
Yes, spoof.
Nonsensical spoof.
Spoof that says
Let’s just get away
Be someone else for a day
Throw away my cares for today
But the spoof doesn’t last long
Airy like cotton candy
Mystery beat by industry
Now you’re blushing
What a stupid thing, to get away
Someone else for a day?
I do that anyway. Authentic? Genuine?
Stuck between friending everyone
Rebeling, now swelling
to accommodate everyone
despite
how much I hate
The feeling of an endless fake.
Is this how I’ll progress ? Forever switching between mixes, always feeling something missing
Was I real? Was I genuine?
but genuine is raw and naked;
No glittering scales to hide the awkward parts
No catch phrases. Clever tricks.
Unlucky to find a listener- clawing up and out in resistance
NO! Stay in your skins.
Unlucky to find a talker- content to fill you like a basin til you crack and fall.
Throw away my cares for a day?
Some days I have problems.
Others, I question if the problem
Was really such a problem
Or did I blow It up bigger than I could see
Then hide it in a sea of doesn’t bother me.
Until the sea pushes back; wave after wave after wave
A cinder block back on the beach.
And I’m back to wondering is it just me.
When I should remember it’s not about me.
Perhaps the next wave will jog my memory
We’ll see.
A poem by L.V. Roy