Courageous, she said.
Courageous, you said.
Courageous… you are.
She said many days from yesterday.
You said many days from yesterday.
Yesterday, courageous I felt.
Flying on the wings of eagles, sheltered under expansive down.
No frowns; thoughtful, head tilting, yet outside that busy head.
Past growing pains, I fought them relentlessly;
Uncaged them mercilessly, released them freely.
Yesterday, I was courageous.
Did you hear that? Yes, yesterday.
Today, Courageous is unreal.
Unfeel
No steals.
Today, Courageous I can’t feel.
Why oh why?
The day began great. Headed straight.
then I fell with each berating expression of too much and not enough; but more than enough hate.
You shared too much. Wanted too much. Moved too much. Not good enough. Not pretty enough. Not social enough. Not articulate enough. Too slow. Too burdensome. Too You some.
If only you could crawl out of that skin, peel it off; throw it away. Start again.
Fresh and pink, raw and bleeding.
I’d rather bleed, feel the raw, wince in the pink, writhe in the freshness; than be stuck in that skin again.
How dare you come back ? My courage has gone to bed; out you come raging and red.
Ruin it all, push me down, beat while I cry
wait!
I never had a chance-you never let me win.
Climb the mountain, only to drown in the valley.
Why would you do that? Why beat me down when I’m so close to nearly alright.
Someone said today, “what a brave kid.”
Brave? Am I brave? I suppose I am.
If bravery is courage;
and someone said ” what a brave kid. ”
and She said “Courageous you are.”
Ah. It’s an am, not a feel.
Today, courageous I was and courageous I am.
lost my way for a bit
I forgot I could swim, drowning unnecessary.
Is it a valley or a bump? Is it just blocking the summit?
What a mistake.
I’m still scared.
What if who I am is simply too little to be around?
Not much to see around.
Not much at all.
Brave, someone said.
Courageous, She said.
Courageous, I’ll pray.
Courageous, I pray to be everyday.
A poem by L.V. Roy
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