Let’s just say;
there was a crash.
A stumble. I looked up to see,
Somehow surrounded by rubble.
Shreds of paper, collections of moments, confidences, and confidants.
Yet, I could still see;
the foundation of a wall. A wall so tall; I thought
Very cleverly, that I had
Constructed something worthy of Reprieve.
stronger than concrete;
yes, more steady than that.
Yet, when the lights glare began to fade,
dust clouds settled,
and coughing bled into sweet gulps of air,
I remembered this.
I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Lets just say,
I find I am on the cusp of untangling these increasingly tangled wires; making up this silly thing
I happen to call a brain,
a hidey hole to live inside at times.
Yet, I can’t help but feel
That there is only one thing I know is always real.
That you are GOD and I am not.
That in all my confusion,
circling to square one,
exploring deeper into the crevices of hearts I hold space,
It is as if my arms only became wider and stronger from knowing more of YOU and with each of increase of souls I begin to explore deeper of YOU and this cistern called me.
I know that you are GOD.
That line, the only thing I hold in this broken little head,
like an anthem pounding and accentuating that single sentence; over and over again.
That little thing held in my head
I know that you are GOD.
I know that you are GOD.
I know that you are GOD.
So, in this season
where I’ve become this stretched, distorted image of what?
Ideas and thoughts.
I may learn and be renewed
I may be confused, yet not feel used
But, to be used by YOU, that I certainly choose
In that sense, YOU are the tenuous thread that ties me to the ground.
Even with a word like
DIFFERENTIATION.
Even with a little word like that.
Or fears, like how can a loving man leave off loving a loving woman after decades of years spent together?
It makes me wonder if love is worth the gamble; if it only lasts as long as satisfaction carries or suffers from the sharp sword of involuntary, mandatory separation to the point of endless pain or chronic desensitization.
Then, somewhere deep within these mangled wires is
one untangled wire,
Not mangled
rather singular in nature,
even in a sleep deprived state,
echoing;
that little line.
I know that you are GOD…
then silence.
All the rest? Just Tangled wires.
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