“Square One”

David A. Dreibelbis, This is for you

“Uncertain of the past, and afraid of the future… Uncomfortable for good reason

Been there already, but not there yet… Bored of the merry-go-round

Reading the situation, so unsure of yourself… Ready for someone to come”

To this I say,

Back to square one.

How is it, the spiral always twists the same?

Same old struggles, old as time

different with each gradation of life.

It’s always the same

Yet how does it get harder?

The past only seems to haunt me, a plethora of testimonials by myself against myself.

Guilty by default, proven or not.

The Future, I cry.

There’s so much to do.

I’m shrinking away for fear, its actually near.

More near than I can see.

Uncomfortable… yet, I can’t say reasonably.

Perhaps I just lack the courage to see

the past,

the future,

They can’t hurt you.

I’m not bored,

I’m tired.

When can I get off?

How about a Carousel instead?

At least, theres some variety.

Some reprieve from endless spinning

Adept, I’ve read.

I know the situation.

Unsure, I’m not

Ready, I’m not.

It may be better if no one comes.

Less complicated.

How do I explain to you,

this life of mine?

Twisted, numb, beautiful, divine-

all intertwined?

I’m not complaining when I say,

its not normal,

this life of mine.

I’m not boasting when I say,

I’m unique.

I’d like to be ready,

yet, somehow I’m convinced.

I can’t have it.

You’re lucky enough.

Don’t be so greedy.

Life really isn’t that rough.